My first prize

The piece in question is what I would call my first piece of writing. I can’t remember how old I was exactly but it must have been during the first half of my primary school years.

It is a very simple story,made three pages long instead of two by the inclusion of some drawings. It was the story of a boy called Matthew (inventing characters not an early strength then) and his visit to the Inventing Factory, which would be a very cool thing if it ever existed. I may put it on this site for a laugh, but basically some giant flies get created and Matthew ends up flying a crop-spraying helicopter loaded with fly spray over them (quite a feat for someone who’s 8 or thereabouts!)

There’s no mention of the prize in this collection but I distinctly remember winning something for this – the winner and prize being announced in assembly. Probably some book tokens or something. A proud moment!

Here it is, all three pages of it, featuring illustrations of a cleaning robot, a giant fly, and a shrinking machine (that didn't work - stupid scientists!) Click to enormify.

My first use of research

The other entries here are from memory, which is not bad going for me (my memory s terrible). Another primary school story centred around the adventures of me and my friends when we were shrunk down to the size of ants. I guess I was heavily influenced by Honey I Shrunk The Kids.

A Few things stand out in my memory about this story. The first is that it took a long time. This was to be a recurring theme as I would write much more than my colleagues and would also spend time illustrating the stories myself. I remember they had moved on to other projects before I’d finished and my teacher, while she thought it was wonderful that I was putting so much effort in, would gently encourage me to get a move on.

The other point is that I used “research”. The speech marks are there because I didn’t go out and get the information in question – I remembered it from a previous class. But it was specific and I imagined it leant my story some authenticity nonetheless.

The sequence in question involved us travelling through a mushroom forest and getting caught up in web-like strands on the ground. The other adventurers exclaimed that they were caught in cobwebs, but my character piped up, “no, it’s mycelium!”

I was a bit of a know it all when I was little (I’ve regained a bit of that I’m afraid), and I soaked up facts like that. What I couldn’t quite understand was that the others in my class didn’t know what mycelium was – they had had the same lesson!

My first easy way out

This one got read out to nursery school kids I think. Or at least to the lowest primary school class. A few of us were selected to read our stories to them. Poor buggers! My tale was long, and it was certainly unreasonable to expect kids as young as that to sit through the whole thing. There was some sense of competition I think – whose story would win over the little ones? Who would be a celebrity among the tinies for a day?

I was disappointed that my take of a journey to find a dragon in order to avert some kind of apocalypse did not ignite their imaginations. But I had an ace up my sleeve; a cheating, ridiculous ace.

For some reason (laziness, boredom, fandom. Take your pick), I had decided to include Teenage Mutant Hero (this was before they were called Ninjas in the UK – “ninja” was seen as too violent) Turtles in the story to spice things up.

The little kids certainly woke up at the mention of Leonardo and chums. “Ha! Now I’ve got you,” I thought, but secretly this only deepened my disappointment that they didn’t like my story proper, and it took this lazy gimmick to pique their interest.

The first time I truly gave up

I think this was the last year of primary school. What a sad and tragic day. I had the beginnings of a story. A young boy (probably called Matthew, nudging by my track record, but hopefully I had grown out of this by now), found himself attacked in the middle of the night by some tiny goblin-like creatures.

I had this (really quite neat) idea that they were made entirely of soft tissue or that their bones disintegrated on death to explain away how no fossils of these ancient creatures had ever been discovered. They were to kidnap our hero and reveal a world hidden from everyday view.

But I simply couldn’t be bothered. I had a beginning, but no idea where it would go. I knew how this went. It would take forever to write; I would be nagged to finish and be behind the rest of the class, and although my teacher would appreciate it, none of my class mates would care in the slightest.

So I got lazy, and finished the story off in one sentence,’something like, “and then Supermonkey flew in through the window and saved him.” Yeah, that’s right, I made up a character called Supermonkey. What the hell?

The only illustration was the aforementioned simian smashing through the bedroom window. I think the story only lasted one A4 page. The shame.

Here's a bigger image of that housekeeping robot. This is a photocopy - think the original image had red eyes. My character of Me is stuck in the dustbin. Click to humungificate.

So that’s my trip down memory lane. It’s a shame I was allowed to get away with such shortcuts, but it’s nice to note how many opportunities I had to write from a young age and how much encouragement we had.

Most of all, it’s interesting to reflect on the early lessons that were learned then, and on the overwhelming feeling that even from that age some part of me had already decided I was a writer.

If everybody looked the same…

Original image from Alex France on Flickr. Click to see more.

Have you had that strange experience where some famous person has your name? It’s fun, right? Ha, I never knew a was a personal trainer to celebrities! Think of all the money I must be making, and I never had to lift a finger! Ha ha.

You haven’t had that? Oh well, you’re probably better off. After all, what happens when someone wants to find you? It can be hard enough making yourself visible as a creative, whether you’re a prose writer or freelance designer, or trumpet player. Now imagine you’ve got to make yourself seen in a crowd of people with the same name!

Ego Google, Ergo name change

Try this. Put your name in Google. I won’t tell you how many results show up under my name search – it’s a largely irrelevant number after all – but it’s a safe bet that I’m not on the first page, or the second. Or the third. Of course, I shouldn’t expect to be there yet. I’m not a famous author or blogger or a BBC MotoGP presenter. But I’d rather be able to use Google as a tool to get me there, rather than after the fact.

So if people decided they wanted to find out about me, and googled “Matthew Roberts”, or even “Matthew Roberts author”, it would be really great if there wasn’t so much noise. As it is, it’s very clear just how unimaginative my parents were (although, with a name like Roberts, it’s a bit hard to find something that isn’t taken. My new boy will have the same problem I fear. Maybe I’m unimaginative too!)

But there’s something I can do about that. I can write under any name I want, and it’s something I increasingly feel will be necessary. After all, why would I not want to make myself more visible?

A nomme de plume to pick

I have occasionally wondered what kind of cool name I could give myself. Something unique and memorable; maybe a combination of names from people I admire, to inspire me.

But it wasn’t until someone mistakenly called me Matt Gibbon online, that a (perhaps) more obvious choice emerged. Matty_gibbon is my Twitter handle you see, so it was an easy mistake to make. It’s been an online identity for me since secondary school when I had to pick a unique email address (with a name like mine, you get used to inventing unique names for such purposes).

As people already know me as matty_gibbon, would a pseudonym like Matt T. Gibbon not be a good idea? No, don’t snigger – I’m serious! I know it’s not a name one would ordinarily choose for oneself, but it does have the following advantages:

• People already kind of know me by that name.
• It’s unusual. Or at least more unusual than my real name.
• It’s memorable.

In short, it’s everything you want from a pseudonym, apart from the following:

• It sure ain’t cool.
• It gives no indication about what I might be writing about.

The last one might be a bit tricky anyway. Short of giving myself the name of Futureboy, it’s hard to pick a Sci-Fi sounding name. I guess this is largely irrelevant anyway. No matter what your name “sounds” like, people will associate it with whatever work you do once they know.

Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself anyway, but I reckon it’s best to be prepared, and thinking about these things now can be quite motivational as well.

So what do you reckon? Would you buy a book by someone named after a monkey? Is my reasoning sound? Have you ever used a pseudonym?

Comment away!

Image courtesy of Chocolate Geek

This question was prompted by a book I’m reading, novel in a year, by Louise Doughty. The book is divided up into weeks, and every other week has an exercise. One of the early exercises is to sum up why you want to be a novelist, in one sentence. One sentence – that’s tricky.

The Love of it

I spent some time trying to think of some deep purpose to my ambition; something original, that might sound wise or insightful. But I kept coming back to the fact that I really like reading novels. I’ve always liked them. As far back as I can remember, I have enjoyed getting lost in another world. Novels are long enough to do that, and I find them much more absorbing than any other medium.

And what I enjoy, I want to emulate. Or, if not emulate (although there have been many authors I admire, I only want to sound like myself when I write), at least make my own version thereof.

My Readers Need Me!

No, I cannot pretend that I have some altruistic desire to share the pleasure I get from reading – to impart the same with my own work. In part, that would seem rather arrogant of me, I think. It’s not that I don’t believe that there are people out there that would enjoy my work, but I do not assume that the world is clamouring for a novel by Matt Roberts. And I don’t see it as my duty that I write for these people; that it would be a selfish tragedy to deny them such works of genius!

Apart from that, I do not require readers to want to write a novel. Without anyone to read it, I would likely still write it anyway.

Climbing the Mountain

The challenge might be another part of it, though. It’s a long old process, especially for those of us who can only write in small snatches. But I imagine a day when my novel is finally completed, and know that the relief and pride that come from such an accomplishment will be worth it. That is one of the things that spurs me on. Without relishing the challenge, I believe I would be consigned to writing quarter-finished pieces, constantly starting on the next project, but never finishing.

So, why do I want to be a novelist, in one sentence?
I want to become a novelist, because I love novels, and relish the feeling of satisfaction I’ll have when I finally complete my own.

Perhaps not amazingly profound, but true, and motivation enough. Have you ever taken the time to consider why you want to be a novelist, poet, shirt story writer, script writer etc.? I’d love to read your reasons!

Where were you this time last year?

But I’m thinking about it emotionally. As much as strong emotions can spur you on to do great things, they can also hamper your progress, or make you give up all together. So let’s put things into perspective. What was I doing this time last year? It certainly wasn’t writing. I can beat myself up as much as I like, but the fact is that I am writing now. At the very least I am writing these blog entries, and that has got to be better than nothing.

Plus, although I can’t say I’m sticking to my routine rigidly, at least I have one planned out. It is true that when I get up on a Saturday morning to do some writing there is a certain amount of procrastination. I like to fiddle with my website for example, under the thin illusion that this counts as writing because it’s a website on writing. But that space, first thing in the morning, where i can be relatively undisturbed, is at least there, and observed by those I live with. I did not have that before.

Whenever we feel disparaged, it can help to think how far we’ve come. What have you achieved, and what position are you in now that you weren’t in before? You’ve come this far, if only by degrees, so you know that you can get further still. And if you’re in a worse position? Well, you’ve been in a better place, so it stands to reason that you can get there again, doesn’t it?

Remember why

It’s also a good idea to think about why you are doing this in the first place. If you don’t know, please give it some serious thought. Some people need negative reasons (stuff to get away from), and some people need positive reasons (stuff to reach towards), but it really can’t hurt to have both. For my part, I try to get away from that nasty nagging feeling that this is what I should be doing (by doing it, naturally). I also have some images of what my finished book will look like, and of a vibrant writing community built around this here blog o’ mine.

Visions of your bright future are often a good motivator for people. It might help to have several too, to commemorate future milestones in your writing career, so you have some shorter and longer term images to spur you on. This is more difficult for some people than others, so don’t worry if you don’t immediately buzz with writing energy! I am one of those that find it particularly difficult to generate motivation out of the ether. It just means I have to work harder at it, and remind myself what’s at stake constantly. But it will all be worth it.

Write it

All this angst can give you writer’s block. You’re sitting at your computer (or notepad, or typewriter, or papyrus), and all these things are going round in your head, and they are preventing you from getting anything down. In fact, you’re just about to shut your laptop, put away the typewriter and screw up your carefully prepared papyrus roll. But rather than do that, why not write down these positive, motivational images. Use your writing time to motivate yourself. In your next scheduled writing time (you have those, right?) read about how far you’ve come, and what you’re striving for before you begin to write. You may find it helps.

I have not always been into writing. Actually, that’s not strictly true. What might be more accurate is of the creative things I’ve wanted to really get into and achieve something in, writing was not always my primary focus. In truth, it has always been there. Even in primary school I would write stories that were much longer and take longer to finish than the other kids. Wouldn’t it have been great if I’d decided that was what I really wanted then, instead of a lot of distraction in between. Then it might be a whole lot easier now.

Even so, when asked,”why do you want to write?” I struggle with an answer. Although I have things I want to say, they are not particularly Earth-shattering. I don’t imagine for one minute that I am some kind of genius whose idea will change the world, or even that I have a genuinely original idea (if there are any left at all). That’s not to say that any writing I do will not have some kind of value, but simply that I don’t have a message that I must tell that makes me want to write.

A part of me wants to give that typical writer’s answer, “I have to”. A lot of writers will describe their vocation as a natural imperative for them that they can’t escape from. I don’t really like to use that answer because it implies a desperation to it. I imagine a stressed-out, wild-haired typist, surrounded by screwed up notes and feverishly hammering at the keyboard or pressing his fingers to his temples. All because he has to write.

That person is not me. On the contrary, I often suffer from a lack of the motivation strongly suggested by the phrase above. Nevertheless there is some truth to it. As I mentioned, writing has been present in my life for most of it (on and off). And since I made an actual decision at uni that I liked writing and wanted to take it further, it has occupied a permanent lot in my mind. Writing has existed as a kind of background noise, as if the owner of that lot is playing their music too load. During my day to day life, and unbidden, I might start thinking about a story I had dreamed up but never written, or just thinking to myself that one day, I would give that writing lark a proper go.

So, I could decide not to pursue it. I could end up with a loving family, and a successful career, and in a great many ways, that would certainly be enough. I’m sure in fact that I could remain very happy with that. But throughout, there would always be this nagging buzzing just out of proper hearing, saying, “okay, that’s all fine. But isn’t there something else you should be doing too?”

So that is why. Is that enough? I guess that would depend on who you asked. For some people that certainly would be enough. For the majority of people, I would guess not. But, you’re asking me, and I will make it enough.

I understand the principle of course. A journal encourages you to write your ideas as they happen, meaning they are never lost (unless you lose your journal of course), and you always have a history of recorded ideas to fall back on. A very useful side effect is that you are likely to write more often (every day even), whether you are working on a particular project or not. Also, you are training your brain to be more aware of potential ideas and inspiration (more on that later perhaps), and it provides an extra outlet for creative expression.

So with all that in mind, have I ever tried to keep a journal? Of course I have! But my attempts have been intermittent and abortive. Nevertheless, I would like to share these experiences with you and see what you make of them. In the future I will give updates on how I am journaling (if at all), and whether I think it is worth doing (for me).

My first journal was an unconscious attempt. I would write notes, poems, lyrics and bits of stories in an old school exercise book, just whenever inspiration struck. I also had a big ring binder where I would put stuff I was proud of – mostly work that got copied up from the exercise book.

That was way back when I was in high school. At uni I made several more formal attempts at keeping a journal. I had one where I would write notes, and fragments of ideas, but I wanted somewhere where I could write up work as well – so I had two books. Generally though, the idea of keeping work in a book didn’t feel right when you could do so much more with notes on a computer.

Eventually the two journals became one, and that in turn morphed in to more of a diary, which was fine. Except there wasn’t much to do with writing in it!

Now I have something I am much more comfortable with. I have a projects folder on my computer, and every project (or potential project) has its own folder within that. This is good for me because I travel with a laptop every day, so I have access to the files and folders most of the time.

I still keep a book, but it’s more for planning, and reviewing how said plans are going. As much as I love computers and prefer writing on them, sometimes it’s just nice to open a book and write in it. Plus, I love the look of a book filled with notes, and have something of a fetish for notebooks. So, this way I get the best of both worlds!

By the way, the thing that really helps with the projects folder, is a little thing called Dropbox. I have provided a link, but it deserves a special mention in a blog post of it’s own, so look out for that.

Do you keep a journal? Never felt the need? Let everyone know in the comments section below.

So I do know a little. but it’s such a struggle putting anything in to practice! What I need, I’ve decided, is some kind of external pressure. What if I had someone I had to constantly update on my progress? I might even be able to help other people to write in the process! That someone is you, and this blog is the method by which I will do it. This blog will get me writing!

Over the next few blog entries, I’ll be discussing my plan of action to actually get me properly writing, rather than just thinking about it. I’m busy, like most people, with not nearly enough time on my hands to do these things as I used to. I’m also much less ‘inspired’ than I was as a teenager, which has always been something that has put me off in the past.

So if that sounds even a little like you, then please, keep reading, as I’ll be sharing my trials and tribulations to overcome the obstacles (self-imposed and otherwise), that have so far prevented me writing that best-selling novel, or whatever. And even if that doesn’t sound like you, come on in, anyway – you are most welcome!